Some changes come so gradually we barely notice. One day fades into another, and time slips away before we realize that a moment, a season, a chapter of our lives is closed forever.

Other changes are abrupt and foreseen. We stand on the edge of a new horizon and realize, “One more step and everything is different.” I’m reminded of the night before I left home for college, the day we got married, the night before Caleb was born, the day we traveled to Ethiopia to bring home Josiah. All of these were moments when I was gripped equally with fear and excitement, anxiety and anticipation.

I don’t like change; it goes against my nature. So for me to choose something new, to purposefully step out into something different, even when it is what I want, always rattles me.

I know that what lies before us is good. I know that this is what God has called us to and that our lives will be better because we followed Him here.

But still, the knowledge that something is ending, makes me want to stay very still. I want to gulp up these last breaths in this place, in this season; I want to swallow these memories whole and soak up every moment of being just like this. I want to stand right here and tell God, “Thank you.” Thank you for these moments, for this day, for this season that I am now leaving forever.

We will never again be just a “boy family.” And that is good, and exactly as it should be. But these moments, with only our two boys, have been very sweet. I will always remember watching two small boys become brothers. I will always remember that this was the year that they learned to love each other and that these were the days when God knit their hearts together in brotherly love. And now I can’t wait to watch them fall in love with their sister.

Two more days.

Two more days and we close this chapter and step out into something new.

Today and tomorrow there will be lots of hugs, lots of kisses, lots of cuddles and laughs. And then Wednesday, we’ll take a deep breath and step out into what He’s called us to, knowing that He’s the one who has planned the beginning and the end of every moment and every season that lies ahead.