Casey and I are often asked how many kids we plan on having. The truth is that we aren’t quite sure; we plan on having as many kids as God gives us. But I do hope that we will have a big family someday. I love big families; I love being around them and being a part of them.

While I believe that my family is somewhat “big”, I don’t really consider my family to be huge. My parents adopted Mihaela (#4) the summer before I left for college; so most of my childhood was spent with just three kids in our family. But I know lots of people that consider a family with three kids to be a big family and a family of four to be outrageous. I guess everyone has their own idea of what is big and what is crazy. But I wish that more people would consider having big families, for several reasons:

1. Brothers and sisters are one of the greatest gifts that parents can give their children. Perhaps I didn’t always believe this, but now that I’m grown, my brothers are my best friends. I can’t imagine my life without them. Besides Casey and my parents, no one understands me better than my brothers. We have the same sense of humor, we laugh when no one else does, and we could talk for hours about anything and nothing. It seems that they know just about anything that I don’t know; if I have a question, I can call one of them up, and chances are they will know the answer, or they will make up the answer. They would do anything for me, and I would do anything for them. These are the people I will call when I need someone at 2 am. If I won a free trip, they are the ones I would take with me (and Casey and Caleb, of course).
   
   
2. Big families mean more aunts and uncles, more cousins, and more grandchildren. I only have six first cousins, and I consider that to be somewhat meager. My husband, however, has twenty first cousins, and I feel that I have experienced a large extended family by being included in his family. Casey grew up close to three of his cousins, and he still considers them some of his very best friends. In the July/August 2006 issue of Touchstone Magazine, Anthony Esolen notes some of the benefits of cousins,
   
   
   A cousin always has to choose you to play on his team, though he doesn’t necessarily have to choose you first; you can waltz into your cousin’s house and ask to use the bathroom or get a drink of orange juice; you can just show up unannounced and pester him into a game of rummy. Some kids find it hard to make friends, but a cousin has to like you even if he doesn’t like you, and he comes readymade . . . Those cousins were a regular proving grounds for flirting, fighting, and teasing: all indispensable for a happy marriage (14).

   
   Kids need lots of caring adults in their lives in addition to their parents. Nobody can fill this role better than aunts and uncles. Good aunts and uncles provide an extra source of wisdom and can further illustrate the truths that parents establish. Caleb is blessed with wonderful aunts and uncles, and I hope that he will develop a close relationship with each of them.

   Perhaps we don’t always stop to think about it, but when we determine the size of our own family, we are also determining, in some way, the number of cousins and aunts and uncles our grandchildren will have. And grandchildren are perhaps the greatest blessing of large families (at least that’s what I’ve been told). I’ve never heard a grandparent say that they had too many grandchildren.

3. Big families mean the possibility of more brothers- and sisters-in-law. It has been true with our family, and I would assume it is true for a lot of families, that the more people that become a part of us, the better we get. Brothers- and sisters-in-law can bring a unique dimension to families. They offer life-long friendships and a chance to learn a new way to do things. They bring good ideas and good traditions and can offer a fresh perspective to old problems. They are a wonderful opportunity to learn more about Christ.
   
   
4. Children in big families learn how to live with people. Children in big families learn to get along with others; they learn that they are not the center of the universe. They learn to share, to take turns, and to make sacrifices for others. They learn how to fight and how to make up. They learn forgiveness and grace. They often also learn how to reason and live with members of the opposite sex. Having two brothers definitely makes me feel more prepared to raise my son because I understand more about little boys than I would have if I had been an only child or had only sisters.
   
   
5. Big families are a beautiful picture of the bounty of Christ. A big, healthy family is a wonderful example of the abundant love and mercy of Christ. There is always room for one more, whether he be brother, friend, neighbor, or tag-along, just pull up a chair and have everyone scoot down a little. Having a big family is a great way to show the world that life in Christ is rich and bountiful. Your checking account may not be full, but your heart is, and you have plenty to share.
   
   I love big family meals, whether they are with my family or Casey’s family. There’s nothing like seeing all the chairs and all the food. There is nothing greater than hearing the voices that I love most in the world all talking at the same time. I love sitting around the table long after we have finished eating, just chatting and laughing.

Of course, you don’t have to have a lot of biological children to live the big family life. Big, healthy families include others in their “beautiful family culture� in the way that their love overflows to those around them. They live under the assumption that there is plenty of everything, more than enough to share. Whether through adoption or simply through inviting the lonely and needy to join their family, big, healthy families are by their very nature inclusive.

I have personally been blessed by my own big family and other big families that have been a part of my life. It is incredible to look back through generations of a large, loving family and see all the lives they have touched and all the good they have brought to the world. Perhaps some of God’s greatest lessons are the ones He teaches us through our families.

As much as I love our family dinners, I can’t wait for the day when we will all sit around God’s table. I cannot imagine the intense joy that will overwhelm us as we see the faces of all of God’s children gather around and bask in the glow of our Father. Of course, there’s always room there; His is the biggest family of all, and everyone’s invited.